Attention

Why paying attention is life changing.

Attention. Who deserves it more? Others, myself or both? Is it always possible to strike a balance?

The question has been slowly percolating in my mind lately. Attention is a highly craved object. Our current digital world is driven by the need for micro second attention from viewers . Reels rule the day. The need to really consider or ponder something in its entirety is gradually becoming obsolete. The question that arises is what is the effect of such attention deficit, short term and long term? The seduction of speed in doomscrolling often comes with a price. We are surely losing the ability to pay attention and that is definitely a cause for concern.

Why is that you wonder , reader? If we are unable to pay attention, focus or concentrate, we become drifters. Nothing sticks and hence we deprive ourselves from the ability to ponder and derive any meaning from life that is lasting and meaningful.

Why bother what new brand of handbag your friend is flaunting? What does it matter that so many people are posting photos of lavish vacations that you can’t afford? Why feel sad that you can’t attend any of the World Cup soccer matches in person that your friends are? It’s not your fault. Social media is designed to create this sense of lack and inadequacy in us. The voyeuristic pleasure of watching the seemingly perfect lives of others is also accompanied by this deep sense of sadness that you are somehow not up to par, that your life never measures up. That feeling is corrosive and denies us the joie de vivre that we all deserve.

I have been besieged by similar feelings in middle age. I was lucky to have a childhood that was pre digital era, I now realize that. The need to find another path has been stirring within me for a while and never did I recognize the need to turn the light on myself like I do now. Paying attention to myself is the biggest priority. Who am I? What defines me? What rocks my boat? The traits that stand out are honesty, self love and self trust.

In order to understand myself, I have to be totally honest about myself. No performance, no need to impress. Just me with my attributes and flaws. Paying attention also taught me that self love is not a sin. It is not selfish to prioritize yourself. It took me too long to realize that. Trusting your gut and judgement is the next quality that I value the most. I have been around for a while. I need to learn from the myriad ways life has taught me to read people and walk away when the situation warrants. Conflict and discord don’t belong in my life anymore. Boundaries are essential. I never understood the need to protect myself so I didn’t lose peace over what someone said.

If you are able to slow down for a little bit each day and think through things, you’ll gain an understanding of yourself that you didn’t have before. We are all works in progress. Why not make ourselves a priority, for a change? Pay attention; you won’t regret it.